one clumsy girl

I am super discouraged.

I feel that I am not really a liability because people are not scoring while I’m out there (pretty much never), but I feel like the TEAM feels like I’m a liability since I’m not putting up points. I’m a wing, I definitely need to be doing something offensively.

The love for defensive forwards (apparently) has no place in rec league hockey.

Other miscellaneous stuff –

• In my game this week I had a positional flub that I skated HARD to make up for and managed to get in position enough to block a slap shot with my thigh. I thought to myself, “hooray for my supermassivehuge thighs!”, “phew, I self-corrected my mistake”, and “thank dogs for nicely padded hockey pants.”


• I am FASTER than a lot of people when the distance to go is more than 4 steps. End to end? I’m not slow at all. But if I skate full-bore like that, I better get a change soon thereafter.

  I am SO FUCKING SLOW in my first 2-3 steps.

• I had a weird case in the second where the puck ended up between my feet, I kicked it and almost lost my balance (twisted my ankle), got my stick on it but because I was trying to both catch myself so I didn’t fall as well as get the puck out of the defensive zone, I couldn’t do anything strong with it. I SHOULD have grabbed the puck and protected it for a second until I had recovered and then carried/passed/sent it up the boards.
• People kept calling for the puck in the d-zone in the CENTER. I made conscious decisions to NOT pass the puck through the center of our zone and instead sent it up the boards. This caused some irritation (though between periods captain reminded us not to make that pass). I DO need to be a little stronger getting it out and in some of these cases I should carry the puck out though. Which leads me to…
• I need to stop playing hot potato with the puck. I can carry the puck. I even used to do it successfully in games. Now I’m nervous or scared and I keep just getting rid of it. Why? Fuck.

Anyway, I’m discouraged and feeling like I’m not contributing and like the team is just cringing when I show up for a game. I’m not sure it’s true, it’s just how I’m feeling lately.

Growing up, I was equal parts interested in skiing and completely scared of the lifts. I/we never had the money to go anyway, so when high school friends went, I always told myself that I didn’t want to try skiing in lame-ass West Virginia when I could go somewhere like Colorado or Vermont or Utah at some later time.

Then I moved somewhere that has ski “resorts” (ok, so they’re not so much resorts here) within 45-60 minutes. A perfectly reasonable driving distance for a few hours of playing in the snow. And I finally have the discretionary income and the age to not care as much if I make a fool of myself doing something I want to do.

This past November I realized that I wanted to at least go out and try out skiing (and/or snowboarding). I decided that living where I do and with the costs being so reasonable I would do it this winter. I had planned to go on my own but it turned out that one of my friends here wanted to go too and she was in the same position as me, a total newbie. Cool.

I have to say – I really had a good time. We didn’t ride the lift yet (I’m still nervous about that, but will do it next time), but I was able to get going pretty fast and turn and stop without any problems at all. I will go again!

Also, I was definitely clumsy, as always.

Here’s the detailed write up.
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Thought from last night’s hockey game: you can compensate for slow legs with a quick brain and you can compensate for a slow brain with a burst of speed. If both brain and legs are slow, you’re not going to have a good game.

I couldn’t see the ice last night. I’ve never had that level of tunnel vision before — perhaps my first game. And my legs were completely spent in the first period. It was a horrible game on my part.

…and I am not going to deviate from my pre-game routine ever again.

I’ve had sort of an odd start to this season. I played in our first game of the season, when we were learning our new teammates (we gained 6 and lost 3 — I lost both my center and wing). Then I went out of town for two weeks and missed three games thanks to some wacky scheduling. I hate missing so many games in a row, especially when we’re trying to learn one another’s tendencies.

Back in town and now I have two more games under the belt. Captain swapped me over to right wing from left, which required a tiny bit of adjustment on my part, but not much. I’m better on the right side in the defensive zone (I’m better turning to the boards on that side), but better on the left side shooting.

Thanks to years of playing hockey off ice, I’m fairly solid positionally, both defensive and offensive. I’m generally where I should be and I can usually get open. I would say my biggest weakness last season was my skating. But last week and this week I was complimented on it. This is good progress!

Now I just need to figure out how to be stronger on the puck. I’m not sure how to practice this other than playing in games/scrimmages.

Last season I could carry the puck in no problem. This season I’m getting more touches but not taking advantage of them (the other teams are also defending me closer). Or I’ll win the puck along the boards but not be able to do much with it other than send it weakly up ice.

I did make a few decent passes tonight, took a couple of pucks off of my shins, and threw an elbow (ha!) but overall I feel like I played unremarkably. I don’t feel like I’m a liability to my team but I’d like to make more of a measurable positive impact. Maybe my goal for the next game should be the simple-but-not-so-simple: get a shot on net.

Tonight the Caps open up the 2011-12 NHL season. Go Caps!

new mouthguard

Tomorrow night my team opens up our 2011-12 Winter season. Go Crisis!

Between the seasons we lost three skaters — including my center and my RW! — but gained six new teammates. Tomorrow night is going to be an interesting time learning to skate with new teammates and linemates. I’m anxious: a little excited, a little nervous.

I think my goal for tomorrow is a simple (and difficult) one: to work on learning my new linemates. I’ll have better goals as the season continues. I am going to get some points this season, dammit.

It’s sort of funny that because I have been playing on a team this summer I haven’t had time to write much about it! Our last game of the summer season is tomorrow and then single elimination playoffs begin on Monday.

post-game beer & icepack

I actually have notes from every game I played, so with any luck maybe I’ll get the time to write it up soon. It has been a lot of fun.

I actually missed the first class of week 3 because I was out of town pseudo-camping in a yurt on the beach. That class apparently covered shooting, so I am bummed I missed it. I really need to practice shooting.

Wednesday’s class was all passing+shooting drills — 2 man skate from the far blue line passing the puck between ‘em, into the zone, and whoever has the puck at the top of the circle shoots and the other person goes to the net for the rebound. We did lots of different versions of that drill — paying attention to the near blueline so as to not go offsides, with one person playing D between, and then later, 1 person on 1 D. It was really tiring, nonstop sprint-skating, pretty much.

At one point I was on the far boards coming down the righthand side and I bit it somehow. I landed really hard on my right side. I am pretty sure I released my right hand from my stick (I’m a right shot and generally pretty good about releasing the bottom hand from my stick when I fall because I have seen too many broken ribs), but I knocked the wind completely out of myself. I couldn’t even get up for a second, I was just gasping for breath. I figured that it was a combination of bruised ribs and a cramp and chastised myself that I needed to GET UP since Brooks Laich would not stay down! He would be up and back in it! (ha. Yes, I really did tell myself that.)

So I got up and it kept bugging me but not so bad that I couldn’t skate. That was pretty early on. I did take a few more breaks than normal because I was tiring really quickly and it was nagging me. BOO!

[I thought I would be really sore the next day and I was, but it is ok. Definitely just a minor thing. When N broke his ribs (both times) it was AWFUL. ]

We did a 15 minute 3 on 3 scrimmage at the end of class (in one zone, not full ice thankfully because I was exhausted after the rest of class and that nasty fall — plus this rink is Olympic sized) and that actually went pretty well for me. I had a few assists and shots on goal and broke up a bunch of passes. I was out of position a couple of times but overall did pretty well.

Overall class has been going alright. I get frustrated during class when I have a bad run of a drill but generally after class I feel a lot better.

post-practice

Week 2 was led by a different coach. The first day we covered backwards skating and crossovers. We skated around the entire rink backwards a few laps, and then we started doing individual skating drills at half-speed. I didn’t feel like I was working that hard until I realized that I was dripping sweat!

I have been having a lot of problems with forcing my feet — both, but especially the left — to glide on the flat of the blade. While I can skate alright, it is causing me to bleed off a lot of speed and makes a lot of maneuvers more difficult than they should be. My feet are pronating. I can force them out but it feels awkward. Now, this is part of why they determined my patella doesn’t track properly (how I injured my knee three years ago) and why I was prescribed orthotics at the time. The problem is that I started to have more pain wearing the orthotics than without them. I stopped wearing them and worked hard on building up my foot and leg muscles which has worked great for running and walking. But it seems to have popped back up with respect to skating.

There are a couple of potential solutions here — put some sort of arch support orthotic in my hockey skates, have my rocker moved slightly to the inside of the skate, and/or simply force myself to learn to flip my ankles outward. This MAY also be more of an issue with my old skates and less of an issue with my new skates (I haven’t skated enough in the new skates yet to tell). The old skates are not quite wide enough at the ball and I think my foot climbs the side of the boot. That doesn’t happen in the new skates.

Oddly if you look at the tread on my shoes, I don’t have a normal overpronator’s tread. If I walk around in my skates, it’s not an issue. But on the ice it is. I am going to keep having issues skating (and probably also with my knee) until I work this out.

Throughout Week 2 I was having knee pain and I was scared. I started icing my knee for 15-20 minutes after I got home from class. It seems to be helping (even if just placebo effect — of course the knee pain could be psychosomatic too).

On the second class of week 2, we worked on passing. Fore, back, one hand receive, saucer (which I had a hard time with at first, but got better after the coach worked with me a bit), some full ice passing drills. I’m generally pretty good at catching a pass and passing and I like it. My backhand is pretty weak but accurate. Growing up my dad always pounded into me that you LOOK where you want things to go — you look where you want to throw the baseball, you look at the hoop when you shoot, you look at the person/where you are passing. You don’t look at the ball/puck. It works pretty well (you can do the fancy no-look stuff later!).

After the passing drills, we spent the last 15 minutes of class playing 3 on 3 keep away — one puck, trying to keep possession of it within the 3 person team — good practice for passing, teamwork, and some body position work.

That was fun for me because I realized I was getting my team vision back. I knew where my teammates were and where the other team was, so I could always get open when my team had the puck and I knew who to cover when the other team had the puck. AHA. I broke up a bunch of passes. It helped with my piss-poor skating at that point — positioning and visualization of what people are about to do make a huge difference when you have no fucking legs left!

I’m having fun in class even though my skating leaves SO much to be desired. I am seeing a lot of progression in my skating just by virtue of DOING it, though. I realized I was turning around and skating backwards during keep away — I’m not thinking about how I’m skating, I’m just doing it as best as I can. And I’m getting better.

I’ve made it through the first week (two sessions) of the learn to play clinic.

This clinic is intended to be a combination of work on hockey/power skating skills as well as stick skills. A true beginner clinic. I intentionally opted for starting back from the beginning because I really had no concept of where I was going to sit after three years away from the ice.

I have a better idea now.

Monday was the first clinic and it was all skating drills, mostly dealing with stuff on the flat of the blade rather than on either edge. I was the first person to fall (on the first drill!) but certainly not the last. I am working through my issues with my left foot security blanket and had some success getting away from relying on it so much during class. That felt good.

Wednesday was the second clinic and it was puckhandling. I had been sick since Monday night and had very low energy, but I went to class anyway with the promise to myself that I would take breaks. I had an awful time in a class that normally I would have loved — I love stickwork. I kept falling down for no reason at all and my legs were totally shot. I was even falling down when I tried to get up. I did take my breaks but it was just abysmal. I didn’t give up though, I kept going back out and working at it.

I felt much better by the end of class — I had my puck feel back and I was able to carry the puck strongly across the ice while keeping my head up. There were a lot of people with their heads down and a lot of collisions. One guy slammed into me from behind as I was trying to lift the stick of someone else.

Overall I’m still not where I was three years ago but things are coming back and I’m getting more comfortable. Now if I can shake this cold and maybe get my new skates broken in…

all packed up

Last night I completely unpacked and repacked my gear bag in preparation for hockey clinic tonight. In doing so I had some strange memories return that I had completely forgotten about.

• I tape my elbow pads along the velcro. I totally forgot that I always had a problem where my elbow pads like to slide down my forearms. I combat it by taping the center strap a bit tighter than it goes.
  
• I used to have a whole method to the packing of my bag. When I was packing my bag yesterday I couldn’t remember all of the details of how I packed it, but I did remember that I always put my pucks and tape in a particular side pocket and my helmet in a particular place. I remembered that I used to put a few items together in the other side pocket, but can’t remember exactly what (I think my jock, undershirt, undersocks, shin straps are among those items).
  
• I remembered that I used to do this a couple of times a week. When I went to stick and shoots, at first there was some anxiety but then it just became something I did. I’m having the same thoughts now that I did then about making a fool of myself or messing up putting my gear on in the wrong order or having my socks fall down.

I can’t believe it has been over three years since I last went out. I am trying to combat some mental backlash and fear but — hey, I’ve done at least this much before already. I should be alright.